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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23018077">I Once Heard...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalirush/pseuds/kalirush'>kalirush</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood &amp; Manga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Collection: Purimgifts Day 1, Gen, Loyalty, POV Outsider, Post-Canon, Tall Tales</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:28:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23018077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalirush/pseuds/kalirush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the men of Briggs tell stories about their illustrious general.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Purimgifts 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Once Heard...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/reconditarmonia/gifts">reconditarmonia</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>many thanks to my beta AND artist, songofsunset!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Captain Kamaz slammed the flask down on the table like a challenge. “I once heard that General Armstrong broke her arm in battle, and she still fought a platoon to a standstill left-handed.”</p><p>Lieutenant Bulat picked the flask up, grinned at the room, and took a swig. “Once, General Armstrong ran into a bear while on maneuvers. She put it in a headlock, shaved its head and recruited it into the Amestrian military.” He slammed the flask back down. </p><p>Lieutenant Iveco picked the flask up and drank, grimacing. “I heard that the traitor generals sent a detachment of men to kill her during the coup. She told them that if they were going to kill her, they’d better get to it because she had better things to do. Then she turned her back on them and went back to fighting, and every single one of them switched sides.”</p><p>The men sitting around the table nodded sagely. “That one’s true,” Officer Vityaz said, quietly. “I had it off one of the men who was there.”</p><p>“They’re all true!” Kamaz roared. He grabbed the flask from Iveco and shoved it at Private Zhuk. “Your turn!”</p><p>Zhuk sipped cautiously at the flask, doing his best not to choke. “I heard,” he said, tentatively. “I once heard that she doesn’t iron her uniform. It’s just too scared of her to wrinkle.”</p><p>They laughed, and Officer Nebo slapped him on the back. Zhuk handed off the flask to him. “One time, General Armstrong got into a bar fight. There were four men, each bigger than Kamaz here. She picked them up one by one and threw them into the air. They were so scared of what would happen when they came down that they learned to fly.” Nebo took a long swig. “They say they’re still out there somewhere,” he said, almost wistfully, “drifting in the cold North wind.”</p><p>Lieutenant Tadano took the flask next, but he didn’t drink from it. “You Briggs men are all crazy about her,” he said. “What, would you jump off a cliff if Olivier Armstrong told you to?”</p><p>The room went tense and silent. Captain Kamaz stood up, walked over, and plucked the flask out of Tadano’s hand. “If General Armstrong told me to jump off a cliff,” he said slowly, “she’d have a damn good reason to do it.”</p><p>“If General Armstrong told me to jump off a cliff,” Nebo added, grinning, “it’s because she knows I’m tough enough to survive the fall.”</p><p>“If General Armstrong told me to jump off a cliff,” Iveco said, “it’d be because she’d already jumped herself and was halfway down already.”</p><p>“If General Armstrong told me to jump off a cliff,” Zhuk added, hurriedly, “If she told me to jump off a cliff, she’d already have a plan to keep me from dying, because she hates wasting resources!”</p><p>The room erupted in laughter. </p><p>The door opened, and a shadow fell across the room. Everyone immediately fell silent. General Olivier Armstrong herself strode into the room, her sword shining at her hip. She held out a hand, and Kamaz handed over the flask. She took a long, slow drink, and tossed the flask onto the table, empty. </p><p>“I once heard that some of General Armstrong’s men were late for morning inspection, and she still keeps their ears on a string in her office!” She glared at them all, meaningfully. “I’ll see you all in the morning,” she said. </p><p>“Yes, sir!” the room chorused back to her, saluting- including Lieutenant Tadano. </p><p>She saluted back, turned on her heel, and stalked out of the room. </p><p>“That one’s true, too,” Vityaz said, into the echoing silence. “I’ve seen the ears.”</p><p>

</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>She probably has the ears for some other reason. Probably.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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